Recently, I had a major episode of broken trust that I want to share with you... and offer some lessons from. I was traveling in Bali, because Michelle was going to see old friends in western Massachusetts, so I took off for warmer, tropical climes, which are not really Michelle's cup of tea. So ... Read More
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I read or hear something about a lesbian couple, and one of them "feels disrespected." And spectators of a couple's troubles are amazingly fast to suggest that some behavior or another is "disrespectful." Now, what are the parameters of disrespect? ... Read More
In the last week, I've heard three times from three different people, that someone said to them, basically, "if we need to get help this early in our relationship, it must mean that we're doomed." This is a common sentiment - we hear it a lot. Many women would feel compelled to get couples' support ... Read More
We all know that if you’re driving a car with imperfectly aligned wheels, it may have a tendency to drift toward the right… or the left. So it's important to keep gently steering back toward the center! Otherwise, you'll end up off in a ditch somewhere - or crashing into the median strip or another ... Read More
A few months ago we were teaching a workshop in San Francisco. I (Ruth) dropped Michelle off with all our supplies, and then went in search of a parking place - not an easy thing to find in that city! I circled around for about 10 minutes, and several times watched people directly in front of me ... Read More
Relationships are delicate. Our hearts are delicate. And there are so many ways to do things the wrong way - and end up feeling hurt, mistrustful and devastated, rather than loving and connected. The thing is, honesty is like a knife. If you know how to hold it correctly, it can cut through all the ... Read More
What do you believe about relationships? And do you believe it because it's happened to you - or does it happen to you because you believe it? This is a tricky question, but an important one. Let me explain. For a long time, I (Ruth) believed that my partners never showed up for me fully, or ... Read More
Early on in our relationship, Michelle and I went away for a long weekend. I was enjoying myself, and wanted to stay longer. I knew there was nothing pressing either of us had to get back for. So, I said, "Hey, would you rather go back on Tuesday, or stay a few extra nights?" In those days, I was ... Read More
Warning: this blog post is really personal! Last night I (Ruth) had a wake-up call, one of those moments that reminded me of how easy it would be to damage the beautiful relationship Michelle and I share, and I wanted to share it with you. I’d had a phone conversation with my mom, and heard some ... Read More
I (Michelle) sometimes post responses on the She Meets Her Facebook page, which is a dating site for black women. What I find so fascinating about the updates some women post is that they are so often questions that have to do with a particular underlying assumption about lesbian relationships, ... Read More
