We talk to so many women who believe they need to choose between deep, lasting love - the kind we all hope for in marriage - and getting to live their own lives. Well, we're here to tell you that we believe you can have it all, marriage and autonomy, but only if you're willing to re-think what many ... Read More
Are You Stuck in a Semi-Conscious Relationship?
If you're like most of the women who've been joining our programs, you're smart. You care about growth, you've done some therapy or other inner work (maybe even a LOT of it), and your partners have, too. So why are your relationships still so hard?! Here's an overview: Unconscious ... Read More
How Long Does it Take to Get Love Right?
The other day, I compared a long term relationship to running a marathon. My point was that none of us would imagine we could run a marathon without the right gear, training and preparation! We'd get the right shoes (and break them in ahead of time), we'd nourish and hydrate ourselves properly, and ... Read More
Life Can Be Unfair. Don’t Pass It On To Your Boo!
Your boss passes you up for a promotion you know you deserve, in favor of the jerky dude in the cubicle across from you. You get nailed with an extra fee because you didn't get a notice that they mailed to your old address that you couldn't possibly update. You lose your job because they moved the ... Read More
Why “Honesty” Is Like a Knife: The story of June & Dani
Relationships are delicate. Our hearts are delicate. And there are so many ways to do things the wrong way - and end up feeling hurt, mistrustful and devastated, rather than loving and connected. The thing is, honesty is like a knife. If you know how to hold it correctly, it can cut through all the ... Read More
The Dangers of Indirect Communication
Early on in our relationship, Michelle and I went away for a long weekend. I was enjoying myself, and wanted to stay longer. I knew there was nothing pressing either of us had to get back for. So, I said, "Hey, would you rather go back on Tuesday, or stay a few extra nights?" In those days, I was ... Read More
The Really Stupid Thing I Almost Said
Warning: this blog post is really personal! Last night I (Ruth) had a wake-up call, one of those moments that reminded me of how easy it would be to damage the beautiful relationship Michelle and I share, and I wanted to share it with you. I’d had a phone conversation with my mom, and heard some ... Read More
False Assumptions About Jealousy
I (Michelle) sometimes post responses on the She Meets Her Facebook page, which is a dating site for black women. What I find so fascinating about the updates some women post is that they are so often questions that have to do with a particular underlying assumption about lesbian relationships, ... Read More
What if you get attracted to someone else?
What if you are in a monogamous relationship, and you get attracted to someone else? What do you do? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M76AVpTEDrw ... Read More
How to be helpful
When I came into the room to help by starting to fold the laundry, Cassie (not her real name, situations changed) got really angry and said that it wasn't helpful to her at all, and that I should go away. I felt terrible for not knowing the right thing to do. This week, three different couples ... Read More