I can't even begin to tell you how many times I read or hear something about a lesbian couple, and one of them "feels disrespected." And spectators of a couple's troubles are amazingly fast to suggest that some behavior or another is "disrespectful." Now, what are the parameters of disrespect? ... Read More
Why Getting Help and Support Early in a Relationship is a Good Thing
In the last week, I've heard three times from three different people, that someone said to them, basically, "if we need to get help this early in our relationship, it must mean that we're doomed." This is a common sentiment - we hear it a lot. Many women would feel compelled to get couples' support ... Read More
False Assumptions About Jealousy
I (Michelle) sometimes post responses on the She Meets Her Facebook page, which is a dating site for black women. What I find so fascinating about the updates some women post is that they are so often questions that have to do with a particular underlying assumption about lesbian relationships, ... Read More
Why You Shouldn’t “Work” On Your Relationship
Do you think of relationships as hard work? If so, you're not alone. That's a common idea among people of all genders and sexual orientations - and if anything, it's even more common among lesbians. You know how there's often an extra arm when you're cuddling someone in bed? Many of us think that to ... Read More
Is “Staying in Love” Actually Possible?
Ah, those first few days... or weeks, or months. When you can't stop thinking about her, talking to her, talking about her, and you definitely can't keep your hands off her! Can that last? Um, no. Not exactly like that. But you know what? That's not actually love, it's lust and infatuation - and if ... Read More
No, She Can’t Read Your Mind: Why Transparency is Key
We'll be talking a lot about communication in March. One of the things we see over and over again in our work with women who are dating or in relationships is that many misunderstandings start with assumptions about the words and actions (or inactions) of our girlfriend. And we assume that ... Read More
Is the Bed Dead? The Six “C”s to Avoid Lesbian Bed Death
We've all heard about "lesbian bed death." Many of us have experienced it. In our recent survey, many women indicated that sex was something they were concerned about in their relationship. We have found that there are some specific things that can get in the way of a good sexual connection, and ... Read More
The Naked Truth About Why Lesbians Fake It (And Why I Stopped!)
Admit it: are you a woman-loving-woman who’s ever acted more turned-on than you really felt, or even pretended to have an orgasm? If so, you’re not alone. Most lesbians (along with our straight sisters) have done that from time to time – and some of us have done it a lot. Why would a lesbian fake ... Read More