I had a strange dream a few nights ago. It might seem odd for you to read about a dream of mine, but I'm sharing it because something happened in that dream that I hear from my clients happens in real life, even though it's never happened to me. I was hanging out with this woman, who seemed nice. ... Read More
How a Dating Plan changed Cindy’s life (a true story!)
Last year, we coached a woman we’ll call Cindy. When she started, Cindy was still trying to heal from a horrible breakup about a year and a half before. She’d given up a lot (including a rent-controlled apartment in San Francisco – and if you live in the Bay Area, you know what that’s worth!!) to ... Read More
Why Coffee Dates Can Be Dangerous
For centuries people have believed that romantic love is a mystery: it can’t be predicted, it can’t be controlled, and it doesn’t necessarily make sense. Still, it’s one of the most powerful forces in our lives. Even when we can logically see that someone isn’t good for us, if our hearts tug us ... Read More
Why You Shouldn’t “Work” On Your Relationship
Do you think of relationships as hard work? If so, you're not alone. That's a common idea among people of all genders and sexual orientations - and if anything, it's even more common among lesbians. You know how there's often an extra arm when you're cuddling someone in bed? Many of us think that to ... Read More
When “we” changes “me.”
If you've been in relationships before, you know that one of the things that happens is that you change because of it. That's inevitable. The question is, how do you change, and is it a good thing or not so good? And what do you do if the change is negative? There is a new psychological model ... Read More
Scenes From Our Relationship, and More
We recently received an email with some wise snippets from our mentors, Gay and Katie Hendricks, who named these as the three secrets of long-lasting, loving relationships: 1. You can be completely yourself and completely close... the best kind of intimacy - deep, vulnerable, passionate - only ... Read More
What is Compatibility, Really?
Are you missing out on the most important level of compatibility? Do you even know what it is? If not, you've not alone - most of us don't! But in this case, what you don't know can hurt you... so, read on. My work with hundreds of women and couples has led me to realize that there are three ... Read More
“Aren’t relationships always hard work? It doesn’t seem worth it any more.”
Dear C.G., I don’t understand the statement on your retreat page about learning to create “a relationship that just works, rather than one that feels like hard work.” Aren’t relationships always hard work? (It sure seems like it to me!) After all, two people are always going to be different and ... Read More
“My gf hardly ever wants to talk on the phone!” “My gf ALWAYS wants to talk on the phone!”
“We live in different towns, and Susan hardly ever wants to talk on the phone,” Elise said tearfully. “It makes me feel so rejected, like I’m not worthy of her time and attention.” “I love Elise, but I’ve got a really busy life,” Susan explained. “Talking on the phone sometimes feels like too ... Read More
The 8 Most Common Lesbian Relationship Problems – And Conscious Solutions
Problem #1 - Committing Too Fast (a.k.a. The U-Haul) When women get attracted to each other, we go into limerence, a brain-chemistry high that feels like being in love. (All couples are affected by limerence, but it’s strongest for lesbians! There’s a reason why no one jokes about straight couples ... Read More